On the other hand, the fact that I'm here at all show I'm at least capable of fighting this problem. I'm not certain how to make Yin/Yang work together to take these self-made appointments more seriously, but as long as something happens, the engine still runs, however poorly.
Last time I spoke about my R&Gs. Here they are again -
- Role: Efficient, effective Content Producer
- Role: Lifeform (eating, sleeping)
- Role: Functioning social human (hygiene, dishes/laundry, apartment upkeep)
- Role: Healthy human (entertainment, energy, introversion time off, therapy)
- Role: Society member (finances, bills)
- Role: Practicing guitar player (no specific goals; I just want to assign time to practice so it is a role)
- Role: Employee of Absolute Software
- Role: Son / Brother (family)
- Role: Friend (Simon, Bryan, Colin, etc.)
- Goal: Produce a "time / gravity" document to submit for peer-review
- Goal: Produce educational videos for YouTube re: Quantum Mechanics
- Goal: Maintain current weight or lose some weight (of a specific amount to be determined shortly)
- Goal: Clean out the gamesroom closet
- Goal: Reorganize the apartment for better space usage (assign specific, achievable goals later)
- Goal: Expand my fucking wardrobe before I go naked
- Goal: Eventual old man; I really need to start setting up long-term financial retirement plans
I've split the list up.
The primary role, me as an efficient, effective Content Producer, is at the top because it drives everything else. If I do not account for this role, I'm not just "winging" the role itself, I'm approaching my whole life from a casual perspective and there's no reason to think anything will ever change. Yang will be unhappy and Yin will rule, driving me life in a negative trajectory.
The other roles are, as you'd guess, the various roles I need to adopt at different times in my life in order for my life to continue functioning. If I entirely fail to adopt one of these roles, my life won't necessarily collapse but there will be serious consequences and major changes in my life.
I've added a new role that's rather implicit but which deserves attention, Lifeform. Obviously failure to achieve the basic necessities of *this* role implies I *will die*. If I never eat and try to literally never sleep, the consequences will be catastrophic. Yet, I can't just take this role for granted. I *must* account for time to sleep, and budgeting to eat! "Winging" this role isn't as bad a winging my role as content producer, but it will make my role as content producer significantly harder.
(I can already hear Yin complaining. "You mean I'm going to be giving myself a bedtime? Dude what the fuck?!")
The goals should be approached separately, because they're achievable. I haven't checked whether my current list of goals matches the properties of "SMART goals" as defined by many-a-time-management program I've learned about but I can check that soon enough as I construct a roadmap between my life and roles, and the goals. (SMART = specific, manageable, achievable, .. err.. googling .. no, specific, measurable, action-oriented, reasonable, timely)
I've added a new role that's rather implicit but which deserves attention, Lifeform. Obviously failure to achieve the basic necessities of *this* role implies I *will die*. If I never eat and try to literally never sleep, the consequences will be catastrophic. Yet, I can't just take this role for granted. I *must* account for time to sleep, and budgeting to eat! "Winging" this role isn't as bad a winging my role as content producer, but it will make my role as content producer significantly harder.
(I can already hear Yin complaining. "You mean I'm going to be giving myself a bedtime? Dude what the fuck?!")
The goals should be approached separately, because they're achievable. I haven't checked whether my current list of goals matches the properties of "SMART goals" as defined by many-a-time-management program I've learned about but I can check that soon enough as I construct a roadmap between my life and roles, and the goals. (SMART = specific, manageable, achievable, .. err.. googling .. no, specific, measurable, action-oriented, reasonable, timely)
As suggested above, I want to build a roadmap for achieving these goals. If the goal requires prerequisites I don't have, I'll need to break down a map for acquiring each of these prerequisites. Then I can figure out the most efficient route between each of these "stops", like a real journey in a car.
(I've been trying to make time management work for me for a long time. This is the first time it has independently emerged by itself from my own self-improvement efforts. Interesting ....)
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Alright so, the goals I listed above can be temporarily set aside. They're important to me, but they're no more and no less than milestones in my journey of self-improvement, like destinations in a road-trip.
The thing I need to do first is make sure I'm prepared for the journey. Namely that I can refill the gas tank as I need to along the way, and that I have the "food/sleep" to keep myself energized through the trip. (That's literal but also figurative, as I need other things to keep me going; medicine, rest-time from abusive customers, etc.)
I suppose my next job is to prioritize the roles. I can skip a guitar practice and everything's fine, but if I skip a day of food, I'm in serious jeopardy.
What the hell, let's do it now.
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Priority levels -
(
) Physical - required to literally not die.
) Physical - required to literally not die.
(
) Social - will let down people I care about.
) Social - will let down people I care about.
(
) Time / Money management - involved in keeping my time and money in check. (May not require time or money itself, nor necessarily involve in acquiring or spending money)
Modifier - The modifier defines how important the role is:
) Time / Money management - involved in keeping my time and money in check. (May not require time or money itself, nor necessarily involve in acquiring or spending money)Modifier - The modifier defines how important the role is:
- Zero (0): Critical. My life will cease to be manageable (or cease altogether) by failing to maintain this role. It will short-circuit *all* other roles.
- One (1): Important. Serious negative consequences in my life will occur if I fail to maintain this role. It will short-circuit one or more other roles.
- Two (2): Mundane. No immediate, serious consequences will occur if I fail to maintain this role. If I ignore the role for too long, other roles may be affected.
- Three (3): Low priority. I can forget it entirely for the rest of my life with no consequences to other roles.
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List of Roles
Content Producer Modifier: +0 Critical
Modifier: +0 Critical
Lifeform Modifier: +0 Critical
Modifier: +0 Critical
Functioning human Modifier: +2 Mundane
Modifier: +2 Mundane
Healthy human Modifier: +2 Mundane
Modifier: +2 Mundane
Society member Modifier: +1 Important
Modifier: +1 Important
Practising Guitar player Modifier: +3 Low
Modifier: +3 Low
Employee Modifier: +1 Important
Modifier: +1 Important
Son / Brother Modifier: +1 Important
Modifier: +1 Important
Friend Modifier: +2 Mundane
Modifier: +2 Mundane
Scientist / Entrepreneur Modifier: +2 Mundane
(New role - I can't believe I just about forgot Alpha!! "Mundane" instead of "Low" priority because I'd kill myself if I was never allowed to dream outside of my immediate life.)
(New role - I can't believe I just about forgot Alpha!! "Mundane" instead of "Low" priority because I'd kill myself if I was never allowed to dream outside of my immediate life.)
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Next task: Pretend each of these roles are jobs. Start compiling a list of skills required like I'm hiring for these jobs. With a list of skills, I can confirm what I have and what I need in my skillset to sufficiently maintain my performance in each of these roles.
After building skillsets, I can set up Metrics for performance. ....UGH this is beginning to sound so cold and vile... I suppose that's Yin talking.
However, I must keep true to my motto: "Produce or Perish". Even if what I'm producing defies the concept of metrics, e.g. friendship? art? dreaming?, it does NOT CHANGE THE FACT that all of these are WORTHLESS without production.
What is the meaning of friendship if you never talk to the friend, never see the friend, never have any communication with the friend whatsoever? The answer is: none. Such a friendship is meaningless.
Fine, Yang, you convinced me. We push forward with this project.
However, I must keep true to my motto: "Produce or Perish". Even if what I'm producing defies the concept of metrics, e.g. friendship? art? dreaming?, it does NOT CHANGE THE FACT that all of these are WORTHLESS without production.
What is the meaning of friendship if you never talk to the friend, never see the friend, never have any communication with the friend whatsoever? The answer is: none. Such a friendship is meaningless.
Fine, Yang, you convinced me. We push forward with this project.
Alright, as I was saying; next task: Compiling skill requirements in expectation of being able to set up metrics.
I'll schedule myself to begin .. not tomorrow, Sunday. I've pushed myself hard through Christmas and New Years so I deserve so go lightly. Wednesday, the day after my next session with my therapist.
Wednesday it is.
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